Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Naturally Beautiful: "Good Hair" by Benilde Little

Always stumbling upon good books in the library. this time my eyes tripped upon this beautifully written 1996 love story about the odds and ends of a relationship forced to deal with black class differences. Must Read.
 

Excerpt:

I looked out of the window, looking for a distraction, and I saw someone who looked an awful lot like Miles coming out of Royce's with a woman dressed in a citron-colored spandex dress, white pumps, and hair or a weave down to her butt. My eyes followed them as they headed toward the red Porsche Carrera parked a few feet from the entrance. He put the key into the lock. I turned away from the window and faced the Plexiglas separating me from the driver. I wanted to ask him to turn the drug-hazed cardinals back on. I needed something, anything, to tune out the noise in my head. One tear began to fall, another one caught up. By the time I got to Upper West Side, my face was moist. I overpaid the driver and got out.


"Dank you, lady," I heard the driver say before he sped off. I ran upstairs to my apartment and called Miles before I took off my coat. He wasn't at his office and he wasn't at home.


I sat on my sofa bed, still wearing my coat trying to make sense of what I'd just seen. I thought of a line I'd read somewhere: Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
-Good Hair by Benilde Little; (pg. 65-66)

Windy City

the wind crept past me like an old friend. Who wished not to speak because their was simply not much to say. the wind rushed pass me as though it had forgotten all our memories. the ones scattered about in our heads, earnestly trying to find a familiar piece. 

I swear it looked at me. 

Searching for a spark of desperation. Hoping for my emotions to rise to the ocassion. they didn't. 

So the wind continued to breeze pass me. Un-apologetically, sending chills through my body. Chills that remain when its gone. When the bright light silences the rain and forceful breeze. 

Silencing, like when love presents itself, on a windy day.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Une belle histoire d'amour...

Came across this book almost by accident at the Philadelphia free library. And loved it. Author Erica Simone Turnipseed depicts the beautiful, complexities of...what else? Love. Simply Beautiful. Must read.

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Excerpt:
Noire and I broke up yesterday. I feel fucked up about it, but it was the right thing. She felt it too. I was trying to just let things unfold but it became to hard somehow. And she was questioning whether my value system lines up with hers. I don't know if we've shot ourselves in the foot, getting caught up in such things. I mean, isn't happiness about enjoying the process of finding "the answers" rather than being paralyzed by the questions? Perhaps our obsession with both is the problem.

I think you've given me more credit than I deserve in rooting for this relationship with Noire. Her kind of loving is just so intense in ways that I can barely touch.

I don't know if I'm making a bit of sense right now. I just broke up with the most selflessly devoted woman I've ever dated in my life. I think I must be crazy.

 -Love Noire-By Erica Simone turnipseed; (pg. 298)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Just a thought...secrectly aloud

Damn that last poem was the dopest. Wish I could commend him, but in retrospect of our past love, life, risks I'm scared my words because of my actions might offend him.

(sigh)

Well at least I can still admire them. Because beyond the horizons of our past...his ish is still dope.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Whenever, Wherever, Whatever...Oct. 3, 2009, Philadelphia, Music

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The bright hues from the blue, yellow and purple lights dimmed and within seconds the excitement from the female-dominated crowd elevated. Seats were taken, drinks were bought and eyes were fixed because it was time. Time for after months of anticipation the Wachovia Spectrum to be packed and anxiously awaiting the return of the sultry, tantalizing, neo-soul star -- Maxwell.

Grown women with their men, without their men, with a gang of girls, or with only two of them were here.

Out of towners, recently married, students, aspiring lovers, and roughly the whole of Philadelphia were present.

Anxious and excited all in one breath because this one man was in attendance. His band, his voice, his music was in Philadelphia, live and in full effect.

I was 7 when his first studio album was released, and while I’m sure I didn’t quite understand what he meant by wanting to “lock us up in love for days,” I was certain that his voice alone represented music; real, classic music.

For my mother’s ears he was a hint of Al Green, a pint of Prince and a tip of Marvin Gaye, but for me he was Maxwell –fresh, authentic and alluring.

Therefore at age 20, in my light teal sheer top, high-wasted brown and black dotted skirt and my black ankle length booties I sat there waiting; with my camera barely leaving my fingertips and my eyes intensely stalking the stage, I sat anticipating the liveliest and most authentic concert that I dreamt of but still had yet to witness.

With in an instant of the last light dimming, the suspense was over.

“Let me grove with you mamaaaa…” were the first words that filled the Spectrum. An explosion of drums, guitars, and trumpets followed, and added to the soft but intense feeling that Maxwell began to offer in the first two minutes that he had been on stage.

If my eyes were bonded shut I would have thought I was front row, up close, smelling his cologne and picking up on each and every note strung out by the guitarist. But I was in section 312, row 12, seat 15, and swearing by the clear, distinct sounds I heard that he was next to me singing in my ear.

Within the next three minutes, “Dancewitme,” a track that Maxwell followers were introduced to on Maxwell’s Urban Hang Suite made the already insane Philadelphia crowd go ballistic. In the first couple of moments the fluorescent lights transformed the intimate night into a sensuous one, and the live band instantly made my rather far-away seat feel close.

As the fingers of the musicians maintained their movement and Maxwell’s mouth continued to open I was lost. Lost in the intensity of his soprano, the volumes heard in the bass and the rhythm piercing from the strings.

The music drowned out the screams, the sounds from the unpaid and not very talented backup singers in the bleachers, and the gasps of “I love him” that could even be heard from the men who brought their ladies to the concert as a prelude to the rest of their evening.

A quarter OF THE WAY into the show Maxwell stood still at the edge of the stage, he cued the band with a single finger, lifted the mic to his lips, closed his eyes and then it began almost effortlessly.

He stared to sing AGAIN and we melted. We, as in me and my three companions sitting in section 312.

We, as in me and the two ladies in front who hadn’t sat down since Maxwell took the stage.

We, as in me and everyone else in the packed Wachovia spectrum who felt it in their bones when he sang “all the things we should have done that we never did.” We felt him, and by the passion heard in his falsetto, he felt us too.

I heard “This woman’s worth" many times before on the radio during my evenings driving back from work, as a soundtrack to romantic movie scenes, and from the privacy of my rather small but boisterous mp3 player head phones, but not like this.

I felt it in my bones. The drums, the strings, the organs, and the bass drowned my ears and his voice encompassed me slowly. Without a doubt I thought: If this isn’t love personified it‘s dangerously and unmistakably close.

The live experience was incomparable to any other music form I’ve ever witnessed. It was raw, intense, engulfing and organic.

Thirteen years later, I think I get it. The feeling that I felt but didn’t quite understand at age seven; the feeling that 30-year-olds appreciated and expressed when they experienced real music suddenly made sense.

Having felt the swarm of goose bumps on my arms, the gasps for air, the attention deficit, the instant high and love for the very first time --words still could not do the experience justice.

Maxwell left my ears how he had at age 7 –mesmerized, and floored and undoubtedly “locked in love for days”…to come.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

DMV Love

Definitely need to cop.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Continuing my adoration...

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Review: BLACKsummer'snight --Maxwell

The sun has finally settled. The hot steam outside has emerged into a smooth cool breeze and the fast pace of the day has finally come to a slow and steady jog. It is at this moment I find the time to slip into my car and begin the hour long journey home, my ears anticipating this weeks latest delivery: the rebirth of Maxwell, in his 4th studio album BLACKsummer’s night.

The black disc emerges and not to long after, my drums are filled with real ones: the sound of steady heart beats accompanied by Maxwell’s soft and sensual voice. With “Bad Habits” the opening track of the album, Maxwell explains his addiction to a love that encompasses and controls him in every way but simultaneously drowns him and leaves him lost. The track delivers an intensity from his soul-fused genre that by far hasn’t been heard all summer.

By “Cold” the second track on the disc, I hear an explosion of drums, guitars, and trumpets all adding to the soft but intense feeling that Maxwell begins to offer in this collection . He utilizes every sound imaginable, turning natural sounds into music: heart beats, chimes, organs, horns, and strings; creating a sound that is alluring and distinct.

On my way to “Stop the World” the fifth track on the disc, Maxwell continues to fuse the acoustic sounds of guitars and the funk aspect of blues with his soft serenading voice. Pleading to stop the world in the moment when he resides with his love, leaving nothing to matter -- not even the wretched and chaotic world outside their love struck doors.

When I reach “Love You,” I’m convinced. For the non-believers he has made them believers, for the liars --honest and whole. “If you take this rib don’t let it go/ baby don’t leave or ever go, no,” are the last words to make it out of the 3 minutes and 35 second track, but by far stick the longest. You not only feel the warmth and steady energy of his voice but the passion that is nonetheless exerted through each and every instrument used.

By the end of my journey, Maxwell leaves me with the sounds of his band on “Phoenix Rising.” Using every sound imaginable at it’s finest element.

Maxwell left not to come back snapping, with loads of collaborations, or more thankfully with an impulsive computerized voice. Maxwell comes back with an authenticity that embellishes every song, every ear and every emotion. The tracks are raw and honest. Intense and engulfing. BLACKsummer’snight is real music.

Love your ears with: “Love You”





Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Today and The Day After...


Today: I laugh at myself.

I have a sudden urge to dust off my abandoned Bible and with no clue where to go, or more accurately what to look for, I turn to the back of the book to find some direction.

Thankful that no one is around I flip the pages back to the front of the Bible, embarrassed by the fact that I've just checked the back of the Bible for an index.

I sigh, laugh, and blush (as best as my chocolate skin knows how) and finally face the reality; the truth unscripted, my life: as I've come to prioritize the first last and the last first.

The truth is:

I honestly haven't held the lightly weighted and simply titled book since my last appearance in Church: April 12th, 2009 and haven't read it before than: since...well...N/A.

Searching for air, I open the book again.

This time to a randomly selected entry. I open up to a name that resonates in my mind, but in the same instance not in my memory.

ISAIAH

I skim the 54th passage and their it is, what I was unconsciously but curiously searching for:

"For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed..."

Now I don't know what this passage means to everyone, and I wont attempt to fully decipher it to the point where its unrecognizable or to generalize it and deem myself as a prominent Theologist.

But to me...at this very moment...it's telling me not to lose myself in troubling times, in times of despair or more often in times of neglect. To keep kindness and peace in my mind and love in my heart. To actually forgive and forget. To stay original, real, unique and true to myself.

(Sigh)

Tomorrow: I will still laugh, and my eyes will smile as well.

My heart will walk in front of me and not lag behind. My mind will stay at ease although I combat clear, troubling, signs. And the depth of my love will grow even deeper and help to free my mind.





Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Love Defined: [lu v']; verb, adjective...

What does it mean to love someone? I mean truly love someone?
Does it mean spending every waking moment with that person? Consoling that person when their own heart scatters in shambles? Adoring that person until your own body weakens from neglect? Ensuring that their wound is tended to before their whole body swells up? Or loving that person past love itself?
Past all the pain and regret, and with the up most adoration and respect? Is it created? Debated? Or just simply stated without a gasp or even a breath? Without having time to think or more importantly reflect? On what it means to be loved by the love that comes from loving oneself?

Or is love just love? Undefinable. Defined by ones own intuition? Just a sudden instance or maybe some tragic condition? A word, four letters, an adjective or a verb like no other?
Love defined is simply blank. A definition with no definitive position.
Love is merely what you make it; an incomparable reflection of who you are and who you desire to be.
Love is simply: free.